“Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart” by Gordon Livingston
“Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart” authored by psychiatrist Gordon Livingston, is one of the few books that I would always pick up and read when I need to refresh my perspective towards life. Aside from it being a self-help book, it also offers a few insights on how adults play such an important role in modeling children’s future attitude and behavior towards life. Here are several highlights from the book which I hope would inspire you in one way or another…
“The three components of happiness are:
Something to do, someone to love and something to look forward to...
If we have useful work, sustaining relationships, and the promise of pleasure, it is hard to be unhappy.”
1. “One of the things that define us is what we worry about. Life is full of uncertainty and random catastrophe. Reinforce the belief that we all share the inevitable uncertainties and risks that are a part of life.”
2. “How can anyone be happy in such a world? A good case of healthy denials helps, but the real secret is selective attention. If we choose to focus our awareness and energy on those things and people that bring us pleasure and satisfaction, we have a very good chance of being happy in a world full of unhappiness. It is the true wonder of the human condition and the ultimate demonstration of courage that we can bring ourselves even momentarily, to enjoy life even as we are surrounded by evidence of its brevity and potential for disaster.”
3. “We usually smile when we meet people for the first time. When we do so we are conveying more than friendliness. Smiling is an indication of “good humor,” and represents an acknowledgement of the joke embedded in our common humanity: Things may be grave but they need not be serious."
On parenting…
1. “The significant thing that I have observed over the years is that children can be raised successfully under a variety of parental regimes ranging from the authoritarian to the permissive. What is important is that children feel loved and respected. It is essential to establish limits, especially around questions of safety and aggression."
2. “The primary goal of parenting, beyond keeping our children safe and loved, is to convey to them a sense that it is possible to be happy in an uncertain world, to give them hope. We do this, of course, by example more than by anything we say to them. If we can demonstrate in our lives, qualities of commitment, determination, and optimism, then we have done our job.”
3. “… children succeed or fail primarily because of the decisions, good and bad, that they make about how they will live their lives. We can try to teach the values and behaviors that we have found to be important, but it is the way we live as adults that conveys the real message to our children about what we believe in. Whether they choose to integrate these values into their own lives is up to them."
Written by Erika Que (Buds Class Teacher)
Date: April 9, 2021
